I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
