so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
