I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's never too late to be topless.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize