I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
