If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I love you. Go after that dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
