And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
