There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
