i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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