i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
