Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
