I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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