Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
