Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i've created a new STD.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
