I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
barbara walters just said penis...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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