Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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