so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this beer tastes like vomit already
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
