if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
