you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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