I got chris browned last night
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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