We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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