Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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