How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
