let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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