Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
