Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You're like the curious george of whores
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
