So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
