A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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