i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
