Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
