Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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