i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
