i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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