I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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