Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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