He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
