the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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