You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
