If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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