everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize