normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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