How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think brook has ever known best
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
