Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
