Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
