i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize