I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize