I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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