Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize