I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
