oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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