Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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