I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We got so high we made milksteak
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
