I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
