haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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