I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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