I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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