What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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