the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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