i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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